The Ever Changing World of Travel

US & EU Airports

It is difficult to stay on top of the rules imposed by the US and EU governments. Of course you have the usual "get to the airport ahead of schedule, especially during rush hour and holidays" routine. But what of the rules for liguids, carryon, packing, batteries...it's all so complicated. Here's are some pithy tips for you to peruse....and they apply to both US and EU airports.

To speed the process:

• Does everyone know about the limits of liquid containers to be taken on board? So that we don't mis-speak abut this, just go to the TSA site for it: http://www.tsa.gov/311/. They call it 311. It's clever but you have to read the page to know why. In fact just go the whole TSA carry on web page to get the dope on US rules, which will apply to EU as well.
• When possible, use smaller airports for departure. Smaller airports may have smaller lines, unless everyone reads this page of course.
• Be courteous, professional and efficient when asked questions by airport personal and security during check in. Glib or otherwise errant behavior will be treated in kind. You do not want to find yourself on the other side of our Patriot Act.
• Have your documents together at all times - boarding pass and id. No suspicious items - nail clippers, pen knives, knitting needles, cutlery, chain-saws.
• Slip on shoes for easy on and off.
• Photographic negatives and film will be erased in the new beefed up x-ray machines. Digital cameras will not be affected.
• Take that damn metal out of your pockets before you go through the metal detector! I hate it when someone in front of me forgot to take out their keys, change, watch, cell phone, belt buckles....what, are they asleep in line and suddenly wake up when the get wanded?

Of course there is nothing to fear when traveling. Newspapers, broadcast, cable and the 24 hour news cycle as a group would rather you not believe that - lest they would not have enough eyeballs on their channel or sell ads for their networks, but there is nothing to worry about. The fact is terrorist are not the problem in our cities around the world - it's the petty crime people that you should be watching out for. Pickpockets in particular. So to help you feel more secure about your meanderings, here are some tips from an American that has been there many a time.

Brits: You look European already.
Canadians: Nobody hates you.
Americans: Face it, we stand out everywhere. I'm American and I must be frank with my fellow Americans. We can do much better in being a global citizen. Remember - be good little diplomats when abroad and the people will like you.

Here is a quick make over for you before departure for the Continent:

• Fanny packs - Why don't they call them "American Fanny Packs"? Sorry, lighten your load when traveling and don't wear fanny packs, which is an awful name anyway.
• Tennis shoes and socks. Major tip off. Before traveling to Europe get yourself some stylish walking shoes and sandals and leave the Adidas at home. If you can't, p l e a s e don't wear black socks with tennis shoes. That's just plain weird.
• Shorts. I know they're comfortable, and the place is hot in August. But we look like we're on vacation at Disney World. Look around you in Rome. Are any of the locals wearing shorts? No. Better dress yourself in some stylish light weight pants and loose fitting shirt. Style is actually the operative word here.
• Tee shirts. The "I'm With Stupid" tee shirt really sez "I'm American," and is possibly offensive to the police officer standing next to you.
• The ever present water bottle. This is a subtle one. Carrying the water bottle while walking around, looking at the sights. Only Americans do this. You don't really need that water bottle do you? I mean...it is a scientific fact that we can go about....what....10 days without water in the desert and survive? I feel pretty confident you can make it to the next bar where a fresh glass of "aqua senza gas" awaits with a friendly smile.
• Do not order cappuccino after 11:00 in the morning. Nothing is more obvious than an American ordering cappuccino in the afternoon or night. We're the only ones doing it, and everyone knows it. After 11:00 am order "un cafe per piacere" (a basic espresso) or "machiato" which is a cappuccino in an espresso cup. Suck it down quick to show them how manly you really are.
• Maps. Nothing shouts "TOURIST HERE" to a little gypsy boy more than you standing in the middle of a piazza with your head buried in a huge foldout map. Be discreet. Be organized. Buy small ones.
• Jewelry. Leave it at home ladies. Take the zirconian set you bought at QVC. Let's not impress the little thieves who zip in and out of crowds with professional stealth.
• Learn a few nice phrases in the local language. Just knowing a few words is like saying "I care about your country and language."
• Always be alert to who is around you. While traveling in Europe, assume you are traveling in any major American city....New York, Chicago, New Orleans, Houston, Atlanta etc, and you will be prepared.

That's about it. We hope we didn't offend anyone. But if we did, you probably wouldn't fit in anyway. This is all common sense stuff that will make you less a target for petty crime and otherwise. Relax, enjoy yourself, eat, drink and see the sights - but be smart and worldly.

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